oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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