Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize