Your tits are I can't wait for
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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