Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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