i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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