I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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