I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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