He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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