Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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