Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
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Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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