I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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