Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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