Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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