i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize