it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize