no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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