literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
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i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
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Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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