Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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