Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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