my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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