Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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