and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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