i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize