I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize