I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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