What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize