I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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