Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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