Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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