That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize