I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
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I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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