After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I will pee on everything he values.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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