i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize