I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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