was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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