I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize