Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This girl is more easily done than said...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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