Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize