so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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