i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize