What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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