so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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