Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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