Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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