I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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