I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize