Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
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So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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