Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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