This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
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he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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