shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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